schwyzerland

So, I'm thinking of writing a book called 'the Arogance and the Ignorance'. It would be about my time in Switzerland.

Did you know that there are people in Switzerland, who believe that the reason pampers cost 5x what they do in Germany is because Pampers actually makes a higher quality diaper for CH. There are also people (we're talking a large percentage of the population) who believe that large companies like Max Mara and Armani, use cheaper fabrics in Italy and use special better quality more expensive fabrics for the identical clothing in Switzerland, which is again why it costs usually 3x more minimum than in Italy. Haven't they sort of noticed...the Italians are rather famous for being well dressed...and the Swiss are...not.


Did you know that Customs here charges you whatever they feel like which has no relevance to the price of the product you buy outside their country...hmm,sounds more like a corrupt Latin America or African dictatorship you say...indeed.

Did you know that there are no laws protecting women from being paid less than men here. That it is perfectly legal to fire a woman for being pregnant here. That the local town hall has to approve of your childs name (mainly that it doesn't have the mothers and fathers last name) before you can use it. That birth certificates from CH run out every 6 months -ofcourse, because only foreigners need and will pay for them!

It is considered a normal practice to expect people to include a photo, age and gender information on their resumes when submitted but also marital status! In this country, women did not receive the right to vote till 1974 but in Appenzeller, they did not receive the right to vote until 1994!!!! Only 8% of the Swiss go to College (yes,that's less than some 'lesser developed nations').

And my latest grip, is I think the main reason the Swiss don't want to join the EU is that they'd have to pay money to re-do all the public buildings to actually be handicap/stroller accessable. There are entire trainstations and government buildings with only stairs. Even my PEDIATRICIANS office is at the top of a hill, with stairs and an elevator that doesn't fit any strollers!!! Why do I go to him, because they are all like that!

What I don't get is- WHY DO THESE WOMEN PUT UP WITH IT?! Stand up for your rights GIRLS! Everywhere in the world has flaws, but the weird thing about CH is that everyone thinks it's absolutely perfect! Why would you ever want to leave stepford...

Another day, another town....

Today was another day of unsurety. My husband and I still have no idea where we will be living in literally the next month! Well, we do now...but not until after 3pm today. It's London. I'm pretty sure of it.

Knowing that my time in CH could be scarce, my immediate reaction was to attempt to internalize everything Zurich and to become introspective of our time here. I had a marvellous afternoon with my friend, BvK and her son JvK and as they ran off and played in the park, I took a moment to bask in the soft summer sun and notice how it glistened on Lake Zurich, knowing that it was not a sight I would be able to enjoy much longer. Thinking how nice it was here...

Then, as I attempted to walk to the museum...I was reminded of the strangeness of this country. The museum was only open 3 days a week and only from 1-5 (in a country where everything claims to be open, 8-12 or 2-6). I then saw two old swiss bitties -well, I thought they were bitties but a more accurate word would just include the bit** part.

In another incident of suffering from being an American abroad, I was not only polite but nice to them. Foolish choice. It's funny, people always rag on Americans for disinterest in the world or being wary of strangers...but the truth be told, we're the ones you'll see smiling at you on the tube. We're the ones, you'll see innocently trying to chat with locals or attempting to see all of the monuments on the tourist blog. Many Europeans make fun of us for it, but growing up in a country and taking pride in ignoring it's culture (a.k.a being british and never seeing the british museum, being swiss and barely speaking one real language) is a far worse crime than trying to stuff your 2weeks holiday with every sight you can see a la 'If it's Tuesday, it must be Belgium'.

Those of you who know me (which I hope is everyone reading), know I was miserable our last time in London but my time in Zurich has been so depressing and disenfranchising despite my TRYING SO HARD...that I've hit a point where I feel like well, I might as well be lonely,empty and depressed in a town where we make lots of cash! I begin to wonder if I'll ever be a non-depressive person again. To think- I always thought I was so Polyana. I also remember thinking I was an over-achiever with a killer resume, but my time in Zurich and London have reduced me to feelings of worthlessness and alienation.

I also wonder if I can train myself to not be friendly and polite, since I begin to think that the people who get ahead...for instance, Jackie Kennedy or Grace Kelly, were people who were not interested in being nice to other people and the meaner they were, the more they got...but then, I think, yes, but that goes against my Christian ideals and I want to make this a better place..
and then, I think, well heck, look what they did to Christ?! Do I want that, but then because I have this bizarre pre-programming to do the right thing (okay, except with sharing chocolate), I find I can't be mean even if I try.... caddy maybe, but not mean.

The other day, I tried this novel idea of NOT smiling at people but I actually think it takes more energy to not smile at them than to smile...and I wonder how much energy the people who actually stare and scowl must use..I imagine it's immense. It's no wonder the two old hags at the Museum were so trim, infact borderline anorexic?! Maybe they were just starving for love...and a sandwich!

blog-on-mom

Thank God! She's sleeping...

It's just exhausting. Having a baby is exhausting, but it's a different kind of exhausting than non-baby owners can relate to. It's not a stay-up for days, lock yourself in the library cramming for exams exhausted, it's not a rave until dawn and go get a greasy breakfast exhausted,it's certainly not like the have sex instead of sleep all night exhausted... it's just a continual zombielike state.

Yesterday was a golden shiny day. We went to Basel with the 'Swisswives club' and did all the things you'd see in a chic flick EXCEPT with a baby. So, there was lots of fun shopping but since I'm now back to my college fighting weight, I didn't much want to try anything on...and we couldn't get into the shops with a stroller or there were only stairs in the shops and no changing rooms (in a country where having children is a woman's only life goal?!).

We then had a WONDERFUL artisanal meal in the Andreas Square, but as I found myself circling the square with the stroller, again and again praying that the terrible teether would nod off...well, the meal tasted better after all the excercise, I just would have liked to have enjoyed it in more than 4.2 minutes.

Before leaving, we went to Martha's for some swiss teething cookies, which sadly all of us mom's would never give to our kids because there's far too much sugar -but boy are we getting addicted to them! It was so fun to sit at Martha's and having a good girl chat...well, what I heard of it, since we were approaching meltdown and it was roll the stroller time again.

Finally, after anchoring onto a few very slim trams with the strollers and running for dear life to catch the train and fighting our way onto the train and watching petrified as the stroller with baby slept in the hall area. I slumped into my chair and my friend Sonya said 'boy, I am just so tired. Are you tired too?' I said, 'No, I'm in the momzone. It's an alter-reality only other moms know about....

Luzerne's losses....

Today, I awoke to my headache. We're old friends, the headache and I. The headache has been visiting off and on for quite a few months now, probably due to the fact that I am suffering from that illness known as temporary insanity- or being a mother to a small baby.

Being a mother requires great levels of responsibilty and...babywipes. Well, a few other things...but one of the preparations no one ever seems to mention (aside from the humiliations derived from the process of child birth), is that with motherhood comes paranoia. Yes, one worries over everything. Despite having lived in New York and survived Los Angeles, I have never been a big worrier...atleast not the neurotic kind. However, motherhood has brought me all sorts of new issues to fixate on...checking the sleeping baby's chest for breath, checking the bassinet for the sleeping baby, is the baby cold, too hot, comfortable, still breathing? Should I have sung to her? Have we read enough today? Is she getting enough foreign language influence? Is there too much foreign language influence?

I think most parents worry over how much the baby eats or doesn't and how often the baby has bowel movements and the texture of those movements. However, since the baby seems to be eating enough and seems to go regularly, I'm not too bothered nor terribly interested. In fact, I'm convinced this is how many people manage to convince their children they have bad stomachs or allergies, by fixating on nothing!

What worries me much more is.. what the baby's angle will be to get a scholarship to college and if we can afford prep school, too...and if prep school is actually bad for you! Okay, she's only four months old...but with the competitive chinese infiltration of the American school system and now the UK universities are charging!!! Am I worrying too early? I'd bet the people reading this would be split on the answer!

Well, enough ranting - hmm, between the baby's nap and ranting, the headache seems to have taken a sebatical! I'm not telling anyone I'm blogging till I can read and edit these clearly- that should be when G is 21! Ciao for now! A