Luzerne's losses....

Today, I awoke to my headache. We're old friends, the headache and I. The headache has been visiting off and on for quite a few months now, probably due to the fact that I am suffering from that illness known as temporary insanity- or being a mother to a small baby.

Being a mother requires great levels of responsibilty and...babywipes. Well, a few other things...but one of the preparations no one ever seems to mention (aside from the humiliations derived from the process of child birth), is that with motherhood comes paranoia. Yes, one worries over everything. Despite having lived in New York and survived Los Angeles, I have never been a big worrier...atleast not the neurotic kind. However, motherhood has brought me all sorts of new issues to fixate on...checking the sleeping baby's chest for breath, checking the bassinet for the sleeping baby, is the baby cold, too hot, comfortable, still breathing? Should I have sung to her? Have we read enough today? Is she getting enough foreign language influence? Is there too much foreign language influence?

I think most parents worry over how much the baby eats or doesn't and how often the baby has bowel movements and the texture of those movements. However, since the baby seems to be eating enough and seems to go regularly, I'm not too bothered nor terribly interested. In fact, I'm convinced this is how many people manage to convince their children they have bad stomachs or allergies, by fixating on nothing!

What worries me much more is.. what the baby's angle will be to get a scholarship to college and if we can afford prep school, too...and if prep school is actually bad for you! Okay, she's only four months old...but with the competitive chinese infiltration of the American school system and now the UK universities are charging!!! Am I worrying too early? I'd bet the people reading this would be split on the answer!

Well, enough ranting - hmm, between the baby's nap and ranting, the headache seems to have taken a sebatical! I'm not telling anyone I'm blogging till I can read and edit these clearly- that should be when G is 21! Ciao for now! A