Losing my foothold

So when we were in San Remo, I was THRILLED to discover an amazing shoe store (Shoe Stock -it's full of Monagasque taxdodgers). Having been shoe deprived and living la vida suissa, it was almost overwhelming to see beautiful shoe after beautiful shoe going for only 30 Euros. Needless to say, I had a fight with my husband because I took so long, he decided to go for a wine with the baby to see if I'd notice..and you know what? I didn't and it was Fabulous! Although, I think what peaked him was when I mentioned I needed to go again the next day.

It's funny because I'm not really a shoefreak, I mean I grew up with Cubans and nobody loves shoes,manicures or nameplate necklaces for their quincienera more than these girls...so relatively, I'm normal. Hey, feet are feet and they need clothes too.

Recently, however, since my shape has developed (what a lovely way to describe post-birth chubbies- I shall also be going by my rapstar name,'Baby Fat' from now on)....I have been spending money on jewelry and shoes because I realize that they in theory won't need altering as my body (hopefully) alters (and in my dreamworld 'spirals' would be the word) downward. However,during our trip I was SLIGHTLY PERTURBED to realize that indeed EVEN MY FEET ARE FATTER! As if it wasn't enough carrying the 'hunk of burning love'tire, now I am FAT FOOTED! And the worst part is - I've gone over the boundary. I've entered the over40s! All my life, I've been 39/40 (in clothes and shoes -except Chanel, but Karl Lagerfeld is a bitch in miniaturizing everything - personally, I blame the Japanese)...

Anyway, yes - I almost did the Homer Simpson 'screech' when the salesperson said oh you're wearing size 42! 42! 42! That's an age or an address! That is not my foot size! Only Drag queens wear size 42?! Even the olympic gals from 'the eastern block' didn't wear size 42! I'm hoping that maybe it's like my clothes thing, my size grows in cheaper stores (despite Chanel) usually I'm a 4-6 in Ann Taylor but in Conways I become a 12...but MY FEET! I'm having midlife FOOT SPREAD!

Then I remembered that my mother had been a size 6 shoe when I first knew her but somehow over the years, she's become an 8-even 8 1/2 and I realized maybe she's been holding onto the old 6 shoe past her prime, she's probably been an eight for years. My mother is actually so vain that she may actually have been lying not only about her age but her shoe size for years and what good has it done her? Well, an awful lot actually, three husbands and many world tours later...perhaps I should just keep buying 40s and hobble for the best. More so, what happens after the second child - I'm going to have to go the Big and Fat Footed Ladies Store?! I'll have to resort to catalogues named 'large and lovely loafers' or 'heels with big appeal' and everybody knows those catalogues only sell the really ugly plastic shoes that even the Swiss don't buy.

Actually since the world is getting taller, I've decided large shoes is the next big investment hit! Bigger than the pet rock and even bigger than my idea about spray-on tan for your dog (which I still think is a sleeper hit for the gofugyourself.com crowd).